Thankful AF

In Denver, we are preparing for a major snow event. Some say it may be another blizzard, a Bomb Cyclone, who knows? It could be 4″ or it could be 12″. Either way, hundreds of flights have been canceled, and the obligatory run of the store for milk and bread has been launched.

I love these weather events. I love blizzards or even the possibility of them. As a Colorado native, we have been taught how to prepare for these things. Fill water receptacles, gather batteries and candles, make awesome soup, (and now, make sure everything is backed up and charged)!

I got this love of snow, this excitement over being cozy and warm during a storm, from my mom. She loved the snow. She loved the anticipation, deciding what movies she was going to watch, what food she was going to make. She would always call me, and in her best Jewish mother voice, ask if I have everything I need and make sure I was staying warm. I would do the same for her.

It’s the early morning in downtown Denver on Capitol Hill, the temperature has dropped by 40 degrees already. We were at nearly 80F yesterday. In fact, it was kind of hard to sleep last night as it was so warm. We left the window open…right until at about 3:30 am a cold blast came in. It’s drizzling rain and the city is covered by fog and clouds. the real storm, the low pressure, the cold front, the snow, and the blizzard-like conditions are due to start sometime this late afternoon.

And now, we wait.

I just came in from my patio where I watched a homeless guy in the alley – carrying all he owns in two bags and wearing 3 layers of clothes – rifling through the dumpsters to find food. Now, there is no need to get into homeless politics about personal responsibility or drug and alcohol addiction, the fact is, this dude is about to survive a major snow event on the streets. He may get to a shelter, but he’ll lose his wheel trolley, and probably will have to store those bags of his only posessions somewhere secret or they’ll be stolen as well. It sucks. It really does. It is the reality for 10s of thousands of people today, many are families, and many are veterans.

It drives home why I feel Thankful As Fuck.

I don’t need to see that to feel thankful, I am in a constant state of gratitude. Sure, just like everyone else, I get selfish and throw myself a pity party from time to time, but I am a walking billboard with flashing Vegas-style lights that say LUCKY. But, weather events are special, and they always remind me how fortunate I really am, right at this moment. How privileged I have become to feel safe. That was not always the case.

I’m thankful for a warm home, for a roof, for a house stocked with food and drink. For a jar full of sticky icky, for clean dishes, and a closet full of clothes. I’m thankful for these new socks and those new tennis shoes, for the choice of jackets to wear. While I may not have been the guy in the alley, there were times when I wasn’t far from it.

I’m thankful for an incredible life partner, for a woman who makes me laugh, for a woman who has my back. I’m thankful for her love, laughs, advice, understanding, patience, and dedication. I’m thankful I have someone to confide in and share this journey with.

I’m thankful for my brain. I’m thankful for the opportunity to extend this life run a little further, the chance to record all of my songs, write new ones, and finish creative projects that may have died with me. I’m thankful for the neurosurgeons and nurses who literally saved my life and gave me a fighting chance to see a day like today where I can walk, run, read, write, and think without pain.

I’m thankful for great coffee, for the electric bill being paid, for my phone that works, for this laptop that I’m writing on, for the internet bill being paid, for the unlimited cable and entertainment I have to choose from. Again, this has not always been the case. For instance, I can tell you that an extension cord from three apartments away can run a microwave, TV, and a space heater, but not also a room light at the same time.

I’m thankful for all that my mom taught and showed me. Her lessons and wisdom stick with me until this day and I use it all to continually strive to become a better man. Her spirit still inspires me. I’m lucky she chose me as a son. I’m fortunate to have spent so much valuable time together in good times and bad and to see her growth all throughout her life.

I’m thankful for friends who have stuck with me, who have called and sent me cards, as well as the brunches and the toasts. I’m thankful for the ones who have checked in on me and still involved me in projects, and for the ones who have followed through. I’m thankful for every damn hug I’ve gotten from special people in my life over the last year and a half. I’m thankful for that look in their eyes as they stare deeply into my eyes and study my face to try and notice if I have changed or am somehow damaged, then the spark of joy when they realize that I am still just good ol’ me – hell, maybe even better – and we share a hug of relief.  Truly, every one of them.

I’m especially thankful for the team of creatives I work with. I’m so excited for all of the professional endeavors I am a part of this year and I feel like I am involved in some of the best work of my life with some of the most amazing people. Plenty of cool things being developed.

So, I am Thankful As Fuck – there’s no other way to put it.

I hope you find some peace and warmth today, and may you be truly thankful.